In Memory Of
Randy Jay Homer
1957
2022
Randy Jay Homer
January 17, 1957 — October 19, 2022
Randy J. Homer, passed away and went home (presumably) to heaven, on October 19, 2022, at the age of 65.
He is survived by his one and only wife, of 45 years (or 47- depending on who you ask), Cindy Homer (nee Justus), daughters and other-worldly super beings, Kay (Morgan) Phelps, Amy (Amanda Povraznik) Homer and grandest children Declan and Ian Phelps. Randy is also survived by his 14 mistresses, of which fate is the cruelest, their nameless 32 children & grandchildren, as well as, many other friends and family members, all of whom he provided for generously with the lucrative proceeds earned from 'serving' as a pastor with The Christian Missionary Alliance. "Once saved, always saved!" as he was often fond of saying. "Woo-hoo!"
Randy's most lucrative career choice was bagpiping (before Korn made it cool). His pipes were usually mostly in tune and could be heard wandering the neighborhood in power outages. He performed for all manner of big-wigs, including golf pros, other bagpipers and numerous school children. He sported the "Bonniest Knees" in a kilt, or at least that's what the gold medal says.
There was no mortal vessel adequate enough to contain Randy's corporeal form so it will be reduced to ash in the furnaces of cremation. We weren't allowed to shoot flaming arrows at a ship and send him off to sea in a blaze of glory while the whole village watched from shore, so a private memorial will be held at a later date.
Condolences, letters of mark, and/or hate mail may be sent to Cindy Homer c/o Up Front Art Space- 127 Portage Trail, Cuyahoga Falls, OH 44221.
In lieu of flowers, memorials can be made in Randy's name to Crossroads Hospice- 3743 Boettler Oaks Dr, Suite E, Uniontown OH 44685.
Seriously- please don't send us flowers. We gots allergies.
All arrangements have been entrusted to the care of Newcomer Funeral Home, Akron.
He is survived by his one and only wife, of 45 years (or 47- depending on who you ask), Cindy Homer (nee Justus), daughters and other-worldly super beings, Kay (Morgan) Phelps, Amy (Amanda Povraznik) Homer and grandest children Declan and Ian Phelps. Randy is also survived by his 14 mistresses, of which fate is the cruelest, their nameless 32 children & grandchildren, as well as, many other friends and family members, all of whom he provided for generously with the lucrative proceeds earned from 'serving' as a pastor with The Christian Missionary Alliance. "Once saved, always saved!" as he was often fond of saying. "Woo-hoo!"
Randy's most lucrative career choice was bagpiping (before Korn made it cool). His pipes were usually mostly in tune and could be heard wandering the neighborhood in power outages. He performed for all manner of big-wigs, including golf pros, other bagpipers and numerous school children. He sported the "Bonniest Knees" in a kilt, or at least that's what the gold medal says.
There was no mortal vessel adequate enough to contain Randy's corporeal form so it will be reduced to ash in the furnaces of cremation. We weren't allowed to shoot flaming arrows at a ship and send him off to sea in a blaze of glory while the whole village watched from shore, so a private memorial will be held at a later date.
Condolences, letters of mark, and/or hate mail may be sent to Cindy Homer c/o Up Front Art Space- 127 Portage Trail, Cuyahoga Falls, OH 44221.
In lieu of flowers, memorials can be made in Randy's name to Crossroads Hospice- 3743 Boettler Oaks Dr, Suite E, Uniontown OH 44685.
Seriously- please don't send us flowers. We gots allergies.
All arrangements have been entrusted to the care of Newcomer Funeral Home, Akron.
To order memorial trees or send flowers to the family in memory of Randy Jay Homer, please visit our flower store.
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